Monday, January 31, 2022

My Story #67 - May I Take YOur Order?

 

My Story #67

May I Take Your Order?

The Bluegrass Boys Quartet sometime in the 1960's were traveling somewhere down in Tennessee, I think, and we stopped to eat breakfast. It must have been one of those times that we traveled all night (which we did pretty often).

Inside the quaint little restaurant we noticed a large, black bird in a cage. Bro. Bob Carpenter was especially interested in this bird, so he went to the cage and noticed a sign on the front of the cage which read "My Name Is Corky." So, Bob read the sign aloud "My name is Corky." Then the bird answered back "What's your name?" The bird spoke again and said "My name's Corkey. What's your name?"

This amazed all of us, and we all began to take our turn to speak to the bird in fun. Then the bird would say "Wise Guy!" We played around with the bird until the repeating of the same words over and over again was becoming monotonous. We wish Bob had never mentioned his name.

Oh, but the most interesting thing (I guess) of the stopover is a delight to Bro. Bob Jones. He still teases me about it. We were all sitting at the table and were ordering our food. The waitress came to the table and looked at me and said "May I take your order?" I said hurriedly (without even thinking first), "I want two legs over white." At least that is what Bob Jones said that I said, and maybe I did. I was so frustrated that in quick answer I said (and foolishly), "Well, I guess you know what my mind is." Then I think I stopped talking for the rest of the day. I really needed sleep! Bob Jones will never let me live this down.

Just another day in the adventures of the Bluegrass Boys.
 

Friday, January 28, 2022

    My Day – 1-26-2022
    Ronnie Wolfe

    Today was a very unusual day! The time came for me to go to Mercy Hospital Clermont in order to have a DOXA scan done on my bones. Dr. Dirk Hines ordered it after I had an x-ray that showed that I may have a bone-density problem.

    So, I got up in this morning after sleeping a little late due to the fact that I took a muscle relaxer pill. When I got up, I thought about how late it was and hurried to get ready to go to McDonald’s to eat my breakfast, which the doctor told me that I could. I bought one biscuit, a bowl of oatmeal, and a small regular coffee. I ate that in a hurry so I could get on my way hopefully by 8:30 in order to be at the hospital in Clermont County in an hour. The hospital is 50 miles away on the east side of Cincinnati. My appointment was at 10:00, but they told me to be at the hospital by 9:30 to register.

    I wanted to leave by 8:30 to give myself an hour to get to the hospital. I watched the time on the car constantly. I was on my way at about 8:25. I felt good about the trip and about the time. That would give me an hour to get thee.

    I prayed for light traffic and a short route, since I planned on depending on Onstar in my car to get me there. I had my doubts when I realized that Onstar was going to send me through downtown Cincinnati.

    BUT, as I progressed on my journey, I realized that my praying for “smooth sailing” was being accomplished right before my eyes; because, as I approached each traffic light, I noticed more and more as I went on and on, that every traffic was green–how can that be? “Only God can do that,” I thought.

    I noticed, also, that the traffic was especially thin, which surprised me at this time in the morning.

    My trip was “smooth sailing UNTIL I arrived at the hospital. There were actually four buildings, and the pre-registration person had told me to go to building number 3000, so I did; but on the building was the word EMERGENCY, and I knew not to go into emergency, because I knew the people inside that building would want me to register for something having to do with an emergency, and I had no emergency.

    So I drove to the next building, which sign read AMBULANCE, and I knew my car was not an ambulance, and I did not need an ambulance, nor was I delivering a person who needed an ambulance.

    I passed up that building and went to the next building, which sign read MEDICAL ARTS BUILDING.  I did not know anything about medical arts, so I did not attempt to enter that building.

    To the right of that building was a smaller building, but the only sign that I saw there was one which read DO NOT ENTER, so I didn’t.

    The only thing I knew to do was to call the pre-registration operator, the one who made my appointment for me, and ask her which door to go into. She answered, and I asked her; but she said she was not at the Clermont location but only answered the phone for them; so, she could not help me. She said she was in Anderson and could not help me. She actually looked up the Clermont hospital on Google, but all she could see was a wide-angle view of the building, which had very little detail. I told her I had seen that one, too. I told her “Thank you,” and I hung up.

    I drove around to another building, which I had missed at first, thinking for some reason that it might be the main entrance. When I parked in the handicap parking space, I looked at the building and could see only part of a notation on the front glass of the building. The rest of the sign was hidden by a brick post. The only word I could see was ONLY.  I decided to get out of the car and walk to this door, because it was the only one left; but, when I arrived at the door, I noticed that the sign read “EMPLOYEES ONLY.” That was a dumb trip.

    Now, you must know this: Last week, when I had my x-ray done, I was placed on a metal table, and I was instructed to turn over on my left side to take an x-ray, so I turned over to lie on my left shoulder. Both of my shoulders have quite serious arthritis, but this was the better one. When I left the hospital that day, I had to walk down a long hall and through the front vestibule to go out the front door and then on to the car. When I got to the car, my left shoulder was hurting so much that I could hardly put any weight on my arms to walk on my crutches.  To make it worse, this shoulder has been hurting ever since, especially when I walk. Keep this in mind as I tell you the rest of THIS story.

    When I realized that I was at the wrong building, and being tired and hurting from my walk from my car to this door and having to stop every few feet to rest my hurting shoulder (and its being 11 degrees), I decided to hobble over to the next building, which had a portico larger than the other buildings, thinking it may be the main entrance.

    When I got to that door, the sign on the door informed me that I could not enter, because it was for AMBULANCES only. However, there was a small box on the brick wall beside the door that looked like a box that I had used a number of times by pushing the small button on the box to speak to someone inside. So, I pushed the button, and someone answered (which seemed to be a whisper) and said, “May I help you?” I explained my problem to her and told her that I had a serious problem of walking and had been to every door, and my shoulder was hurting so much that I could not walk anymore.

    To make things worse, she had no idea where the main entrance was, because she had not worked there very long. I asked her if someone could get a wheelchair and escort me to the pre-registration desk where I was told to go. I have been there now for almost 35 minutes. She went herself and got a wheelchair and brought it to where I was located. She helped me get into the chair, and that is where the next BAD THING took place.

    The wheelchair was evidently built for a very large person, and I am a very small person. Not only so, but the left leg rest was higher than the right leg rest; and getting into the chair was (to put it lightly) very awkward. Once I got into the chair, my right leg fell off the leg rest and landed onto the floor; and, being paralyzed, the only way to get the leg back onto the chair was for the lady to pick up my leg and place it back on the leg rest, which she did with no complaint.

    The trip to the pre-registration was not too bad except for the fact that the lady pushing me had to stop and ask someone where the pre-registration desk was, since she had not been working there very long, WHEW! Now my time of being there was now about 15 minutes later than my required time. We finally got to the pre-registration desk, which was across the entire hospital, and signed in to wait to be called to go for the DOXA scan.

    Then, after a very long trip and so much confusion and a bad prostate, of course I needed to use the bathroom–immediately. So, I asked where the bathroom was, and the lady at the desk told me. I then began trying to maneuver this wheelchair, which was three times too big for me. The wheels were so far behind my arms that I had to stretch my arms to even reach, let alone wheel the chair forward any distance. So, I departed the desk at about 5-6 inches for each time I pushed the wheel on the chair; and, of course, my shoulder was not much help, either. I finally got a short way toward the bathroom, and a lady who seemed to be a worker there was passing by, and I asked her if she could possible push me to the bathroom, because I had to use the facility NOW. She was very nice and agreed to do this menial job; but, of course, she did not know where the bathroom was (I don’t know why). I had read the sign that was now behind me, and the sign read BATHROOMS and had an arrow pointing forward, so that is all I knew about the location of the bathrooms. So, the lady pushed me FORWARD, but she took upon herself (for some reason) to turn right at the first hall on the right; and immediately we saw a sign that read BATHROOMS and an arrow point FORWARD. Was the Lord teasing me, or what? We finally made it to the bathroom, and she opened the door by way of the handicap button. I told her that would do no good; because, by the time I got up out of the wheelchair, the door would be closed.

    Of course (LORD), I thought–I am now complaining to the Lord, and I know better. I had a major problem getting out of the over-sized wheelchair. I felt that I was in a circus doing physical gyrations for someone’s entertainment. I finally made it out of the chair, and the lady could now effectively push the door button, and she did. I finally made it into the bathroom. There is a very minor item here that I will not tell you, because it is a little embarrassing; but everything went well, and I made it back to the wheelchair.

    A different lady came with a different wheelchair to take me back to the pre-registration desk, and I was happy (Thank you, Lord). The lady pushed me back to the pre-registration desk, and now I am 15 minutes into my appointment time fearing that I may have to reschedule the appointment, but that was not necessary (Thank you, Lord).

    Now we are on our way to the x-ray room, and we made it with no disastrous events. The young lady from the x-ray room came to wheel me to the proper room to do the scan. She was a very delightful person and easy to talk with. I told her that I talk too much, but I knew I did not need to tell her that, because that would be very evident after we had been together for a little while.

    This lady did not realize what was in store for her, although I had warned her. At first, she told me that I would not need to take off my coat; then, after realizing how much JUNK I had in my coat and in my pant pockets, she realized that there was a great necessity for my taking off the coat, so I took it off without her instructions to do so.

    I don’t know where she is from nor how she was raised at home, but I had a couple of ideas when she haphazardly threw my coat in a chair nearby. That was not so bad until I watched her take my suit coat, one that wrinkles easily, and threw it into the same chair. When I saw it in the chair, it looked as though she had wrinkled it up and twisted it and then threw it in the chair–I was in despair for a moment until I realized that it needed to go to the cleaners after all.

    This being only the beginning of the scenario, we began to try to get me up on the table for the scan. She placed a white, folded sheet on the table for me to lie on. Then came the job of getting ME on the table. I had to warn her that, when I get up out of the wheelchair, she may be frightened that I might fall but not to be frightened, because it only LOOKS as though I am going to fall, but I will not fall.

    When I sat on the table, I told her she would need to help me. She had to lift each of my legs, which weigh nearly 10 pounds each with my braces. She was very good at doing this but a little surprised at their weight. Lying down sometimes is a small chore, and she volunteered to help me do that, but I told her I needed no help for that.

    After lying on my back for several scans, she told me that now I would need to turn over on my left (my bad) side. I was told by two of my wonderful church members that I would not need to do this, but they were wrong. The lady said “This is for a scan of your hip.” The scans went well, and my arm did not hurt much after lying on it for several minutes (Thank you, Lord).


    After the scans were finished, I got off the table into my wheelchair. I started collected the STUFF that I took out of my pockets so she could do the scans, and I notice that I had only two flash drives. I came in with three. I accused here of stealing it and wanting to turn me in to the FBI for what was on the flash drive. We looked everywhere. She even took the sheet off the table and shook it, and we never did find that flash drive. Hopefully, I have that data on my computer at home.

    Now, if you think I am finished with the story, you are VERY WRONG. It has only begun–not really! I am going to write only one more event, which will close this discussion, and hopefully everyone will end the day unscathed by any event that has happened today.

    The x-ray lady asked me if I needed someone to wheel me to my car, and I told her that I certainly do and would really appreciate it. So, she volunteered, and we began the Incredible Journey (some of you will not know the allusion).

    She asked me which door I came in, and I told her that I came in the AMBULANCE door, which was on the far side of the hospital. She asked me where I parked, and I said “Out near the heliport.” She did not know where that was (and may not have known what a heliport is), but despite my telling her this, she decided to go out a door which she thought may be near this heliport.

    When we exited the door, I said “This is not where my car is parked. My car is parked way around there” (I pointed). So, she began to wheel me around to where I pointed; but, when we had gone a short distance, we both realized that the sidewalk and the parking lot ended with a concrete edge followed by a small area of grass. This did not hinder her. She just wheeled me around to an opening to the small road on the hospital property and headed to where I pointed. We then came to a second stop in our journey and had to wheel around that hindrance.

    I apologized (as if I were guilty of something–it was her idea) that she is out in this now 14-degree weather to take me to my car. She said, “That’s all right.” I felt she was lying when she said that, but whatever she wanted is what I wanted, so we continued on our way. I looked and noticed that she had on a short-sleeved top and one of those uniform-type slacks, and I wondered how thick or thin they might be. I began to worry about how cold she may get before she gets back into the hospital.

    We had quite a piece to go, but she kept saying, “That’s all right.” I just had no choice but to believe her, and we wheeled on. Finally we made it to the car, and I thought of inviting her into my car to sit a couple of minutes to get warm; but I realized that was not a good idea. What if someone noticed her getting into my car and called someone in the hospital, or even worse, the police? I could not take a chance like that, because I teach the people at church that people are always watching you–that was a little scary, but there was not problem; because I did not ask her to sit in my car.

    Here is the epilogue: I got into the car and sat there very warm and comfortable as I watched this young lady proceed to the hospital, pushing an empty wheelchair, having to go around corners as if dredging along to hardly arrive at the hospital and finally find respite at her destination. However, as she walked along, she did not seem to have the trouble that I surmised. I think she was happy to think that she had just helped an old, crippled man through a difficult episode in his life.
    
    I went home with no more pain than when I left, and I hope and pray that she arrived home tonight with a pleasant thought about my over-burdening talk and my aggravating teasing and a warm domicile in which to enjoy with family and friends.  One thing for sure is that I had the opportunity and took the opportunity to witness the gospel to this fine young lady. May God bless her as he has blessed me on this day. By the way, I hit every traffic light on RED on the way back home.

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

My Story #66 - Sleeping Arrangements

 

My Story #66

Sleeping Arrangements
Ronnie Wolfe

Traveling with the Bluegrass Boys all these years has been both a challenging and a rewarding experience, and I love to reminisce about the trips that we made throughout the years, though my memory is not as good as it used to be. I rack my brain sometimes trying to remember many of the situations we were in.

In the early days of our travels, sometimes we would sleep in motels. Sometimes we would have a room with two standard beds in one room. Usually Demas Brubacher and Robert Carpenter would sleep in one bed, and Bob Jones and I would sleep in the other bed.

After traveling and singing on Friday evening, when we went to bed to sleep, everyone was pretty well worn out, and the boys wanted to sleep late.

But I always awoke around 6:00 AM. That is not so bad until you realize that I had two long-leg braces to put on before I could get out of the bed. As I tried to put on my braces as quietly as I could, Bob Jones would wake up and say, "Why do you have to get up so early?" Then I would have to say, "Because, if I don't, I will have a migraine headache before lunch."

The next problem for me was having to wait until the other boys got up so we could go to breakfast. I was nearly starved by the time they got up and ready to eat.

BUT WE ALL LIVED.
 

Monday, January 17, 2022

My Story #65 -- My Club

 

My Club

Pastor Ronnie Wolfe
 
When I was young, I envisioned a club for me and my friends. I designed a letterhead, wrote down some rules, and listed some people who I thought might want to be in my club.

Naturally, I called it The Wolf Club. I drew a picture of the head of a wolf (which I could do then and cannot do now) to be used on any correspondence we might have or to design brochures, etc. This was fun.

Of course, nothing really came of The Wolf Club, because this was an idea only, not something that would eventually materialize. I knew that at the time, but I certainly enjoyed playing the game.

When I became a man, as Paul said, "I put away childish things" and matured a little. Then I found in my young adult life that there is club to which I could be a part and could enjoy the fellowship of others, work to make this club better, and invite many to join. Some would frown at my calling it a club (which I shall not do), because it is the local church of the Lord Jesus.

What an assembly! Beautiful people, sanctioned fellowship, working together with the Lord, Jesus Christ, at the helm, guiding us along to a better future and a permanent dwelling in heaven with him after our work is done on earth.

Ephesians 3:21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
 

Monday, January 10, 2022

MY STORY #64 - "I Forgot"

 

My Story #64

I FORGOT

I love going to church. I love singing and preaching. I love the friendliness and fellowship of the people. I love giving my tithe to the Lord through his local church.

I remember when I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, I never missed a service at my church unless I was sick or the quartet was traveling. One Wednesday evening I was busy in my basement (my apartment) working on processing some film and printing some pictures when Bro. Demas Brubacher came to the top of the stairs and said to me, "Where were you tonight; are you sick?" I said, "No, I am fine." He said, "We missed you at church." The fact that it was Wednesday had completely slipped my mind due to my being busy in my photography. I don't believe I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. I also felt ashamed and hurt because I had let down my Lord in my non-attendance.

I am sure the Lord has forgiven me, but my mind is still rattled sometimes as I think back on that night that will "live in infamy." I just cannot forget it. Church attendance is SO important to all of us. God designed it for our benefit. If we are weak in this grace, how weak are we in other graces?

2 Cor. 8:7 . . . see that ye abound in this grace also.
 


Monday, January 3, 2022

My Story #63 -- I Got High

 

My Story #63

I GOT HIGH

I was sitting in a chair looking out the window recuperating from the flu when all at a sudden I felt that I could just jump out the window and float through the air. The only symptom I had was a severe head ache when a friend took me to a doctor.

Now I knew that a person should not feel "that good," so I called the doctor and told him that "I feel too good." He said, "WHAT?" I told him that I felt that I could jump out the window and float through the aid and that I practically wanted to do it.

He asked, "Are you on medication?" I said, "Yes, you gave me Darvon to take." He said, "Do you still have pain?" I said, "NO, I have no pain at all." He said "Are you still taking the Darvon?" I said, "Yes. It says on the bottle to take it every four hours, and I have been taking it faithfully."

The doctor then said, "You should not take it unless you have pain." I answered him, "The bottle said every four hours." He said, "Just quit taking it.

Then, after a while of not taking the Darvon, I came back down from my HIGH and became a part of this old, dreary, dark world again; and I don't want to ever feel that way again--it is not normal.